Young men with unlimited capital by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Woodstock Festival (1969 : Bethel, N.Y.)
Publisher: New York, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich
Published: 1974-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

Miraculously, Louie continued to dial. I walked over to the phone and put my finger down on the button.

"Hey!" yelled Louie. "What you think you're doing?"

"You win," I said. "You figured me out. Fm a fourteenth-story man. I'll make you a little deal. You let me upstairs into old man Roberts' apartment and I'll split with you. But if I don't pinch anything, like if I'm not in the mood, then yoU get nothing. How am I doing?"

"Hey, Bill," said the desk man, "we got us a comedian. Look, buddy, I don't know you from Adam. You got no ID and the apartment is empty. Now what do you want me to do?"

"I have one final suggestion," I said. "Call my father in New Jersey. He may be at home. Ask him to describe me, or, even better, let me talk to him. You can listen in. How's that?"

He shrugged, opened a large black book, and actually did it. When my father answered the phone, he put me on.

"Hi, Dad," I said. "I'm trying to get upstairs into your apartment and the doorman doesn't believe I'm your son, so he's listening in."

My father is an occasional practical joker. "Exactly who is this?" he said.

"Come on, Dad. Give me a break," I pleaded. "I'm having a bad day."

"All right, Jock," he said. "Don't mess the place up."

And with that he hung up. The desk man nodded at the doorman, who gave a thumbs-up sign to the elevator man, and I proceeded to the fourteenth floor at long last.

I sat up there for a while and this strange malaise came over me. I have an odd psychological quirk. I like to hurt myself. If, for instance, I injure my finger or stub my toe or bite my tongue, I like to play with the injured part and make it hurt more. I can't leave it alone. Little physical pitfalls are my playthings. So instead of healing in a day or two, one of my toes can remain stubbed for a week. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just enjoy abusing my body in small ways. I court petty aggravations.

To bring this thought home, I was uneasy because the phone 115 wasn't ringing and I didn't know what the hell was going on

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